First of all what is Selfless Love???
“Selfless love is the capacity to care enough to be able to place the well being, security, and happiness of another human being first even before our own”.
Selfless Love is the purest form of love. It is the kind of love that most mother’s have for their children but the question of the day is…
Whether it is possible to have that same kind of love for your partner (girlfriend or boyfriend?)
It sounds good in theory but is it practical?!
I believe there are two main factors that dampens selfless love.. viz
When you love someone selflessly you initally do things for them because making them happy offers you some sort of happiness in return.
However, since we are humans. at the end of the day after sometime we unknowingly start expecting that similar kind of “courtesy“.
Meanwhile the person who you did the deeds for doesn’t have a clue about what is festering in your mind.
They fail to realize that this is a big deal for you but you expect them to psychically know what you are going through and respond accordingly….
Yet, we have all done it at some point in our lives….
One instance that I vividly remember is…. (Case of sibling-selfless love)
A couple of years ago Angelica was supposed to give an exam. Now the study materials required her to spend around 700 bucks….
Since she was abroad and didn’t have that much 💵 she would go to her library everyday which was like a 45 min ride from her place, just to read up on the materials.
Now I’m very much protective of Angelica as she is someone who I consider as “one of my own”
Since I was more into technology than most of my family members, I spent hours browsing online for the study materials and finally I found it but it was fragmented…and you could only download a fragment every 4 hours….8 fragments later, I had to compile and then extract the files….
When it was all said and done…I had the 700 bucks worth of study material with me…for free
When Angelica came online, I told her how i got the materials and then gave it to her. She downloaded the materials, thanked me and that was it…
The story should have ended there but in my mind that “thank you” didn’t match the effort that went into procuring the files….
So I ended up putting the favor on her tab….
Kind of like an…
Or an UOME 😁
Whenever I needed her help or needed her to do something for me I expected her to put in the same effort….
Time passed and at every instant where Angelica could have done something, she took the easy way out/or avoided it all together….
Now I couldn’t stay mad at her and I couldn’t hold a grudge since she was “family” even though some part of me really wanted to…
So I ended up drawing a line in the sand to prevent myself from going over and beyond when it came to Angelica.
So what I’m trying to say in a way is that you can’t love someone selflessly if you are keeping tabs on them…coz if that’s the case then even a slight bit of negligence or ignorance from them will end up hurting you deeply….
Now coming to the second reason…
Even if you claim that you have no/low expectations so you never keep tabs on anyone, fear is something that you just can’t run away from….for long.
Most of us are afraid of being left high and dry…
Case in point…
Girls have a fear of putting themselves out there ❤️… Coz they have a fear that most guys will hook up with them and then leave them out to dry…💔
Guys also have similar kind of a fear but it has got a lil twist to it, they are afraid that after aforementioned hookup…the girl will be like…
And then leave them out to dry…..
And the funny thing is that in most cases that is exactly what ends up happening….
You will rarely find a scenario where the guy and girl are really into each other and not just in the relationship for the “carnal” pleasures…
So even if the magic doesn’t happen in the first couple of instances..
They will ride out the tough period coz although carnal pleasures are an important part of a relationship it is still at the end of the day just a part of the relationship.
But only individuals who know what it is like to be alone even with people around them can truly fathom the idea of “Selfless love”.
Love…. You can easily fall into it but what people fail to realize is that you can just as easily fall out of it…
But as long as you are willing to put effort into the relationship then things will turn out okay…
So coming back to the title Selfless Love – Is it possible in this day and age?
I believe that it is very much possible but it is gonna take a lot of effort and a lot of patience…
But the end product will be that much more precious…
Even as you grow older you will be in sync with each other and will have less insecurities in your relationship.
In other news… after a brief hiatus Kristen has gotten back to her usual posts on social media….
And all I have got to say is…
That level of confidence…..
Now when one of my friends heard about this…she expressed her desire to buy some “scantily clad outfits” in the future….with her girl bestie.
When I heard about it I was confused…
Although it is a good idea to buy said items with your bestie, it is far more beneficial if you buy it with the person for whom said material is in a way intended for….
At least that way you can better understand the taste and preferences of the individual (if that is your intention to begin with)
They could have a myriad of responses to your choices… Viz.
How do I know this?
Well after watching a bunch of anime…😅 you get a bit of a handle on such peculiar situations….
Let’s leave it at that..
In food related news I’m getting my Bake on….
425 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes is also a good temperature for baking “frozen veggies”
Pizza is something that I can definitely scratch out from my take out options coz 👆was
Dinner needed a bit of a rework..
1) Need to cut fries into thicker wedges and uniformly
2) 400 degrees and not 425 for 45 minutes should do the trick…. Low Temperature Long Time
3) Stab meat to get the marinade into it and ginger garlic paste is quintessential for that extra….
Continuous improvement is the name of the game.
Well that’s it for today’s post…